Perfectionists, “people pleasers”, sensitive emotional souls, givers, empaths, mothers….
These people often find themselves in an vicious cycle of guilt, emotional stress, anxiety, and worrying about what others think !….Which is NONE of your business.
Here, take if from Anthony
Do you ever feel emotional, or hurt by what someone might have said about you or to you? Does a nasty comment on facebook, or a negative review/complaint at work get you flustered?
Do you feel “bad” saying “no” to something or someone? Do you try to find the nicest way possible to decline so you don’t upset or disappoint anyone, …sometimes with elaborate explanations???
I have been in each of these situations above…..this pretty much describes me, or rather the OLD me!
No More. Embrace “NO”
I am far from a pessimist, and I absolutely believe keeping an open mind and trying new things! This mindset is essential in finding passion and happiness.
I also believe that not being able to say “no”, or comparing to other women/mothers who “seem to have it all together, and they do x y z etc.”, only leaves you feeling guilty, confused, annoyed, tired, spread thin, and worried about everyone else… instead of your own life and what is best for you, today, right now.
you can be completely happy, confident, and fulfilled and still say no sometimes!
Oh and your real friends will be by your side and not even think twice about it.
Being in control of our own lives, knowing what we want and don’t want and being able to live accordingly is so key. If not, you are basically a slave to everyone else.
Don’t be that person that everyone takes advantage of whether they are doing it on purpose or not, they likely have no idea how you really feel.
“But I am scared! It’s not that easy”
I totally get it.
Trust me on this one. Just take the leap, be respectful and honest, keep it short and sweet because less is more.
I can guarantee 99 percent of people will not be upset nor will they think less of you. Rather they will likely appreciate your honesty, and may also be better able to be there for you!
And well the 1% who don’t like it, too darn bad!
They just revealed their true colours and anyone that brings negative energy to your life is not worth your time, energy, or YOU!!!
Surround yourself with people you admire and most want to be like. As my mother always told me growing up: “you can’t expect to fly like an eagle if you surround yourself with ducks”.
It gets better!!
The confidence I have found from this simple act of being true to myself, organizing my life and doing what is best for me, which sometimes means saying “no” and not caring what others think, has been SO LIBERATING!!!!
Wow, why the heck did I not learn to do this sooner?
I can breathe, I can move past annoyances and negativity and not let myself dwell in all of that crap.
Because I am worth more than that!
Love yourself first no matter what.
NO. MATTER. WHAT!!!!!
And finally remember that once you learn how to do this, everything else comes naturally.
In summation, don’t pass up on the good stuff you want to do but maybe is difficult to make time for or pay for….you can figure out a way to make it work.
Take risks, go on new adventures and try new things…..how do you ever expect to find out what you love if you stay in your comfort zone all the time?????
BUT do not hesitate to say no in fear of disappointing or upsetting someone.
Do not compromise where you know you cannot or should not.
Be confident, and do what is best for YOU, that’s it that’s all.
….Oh and wear sunscreen…Bahaha If you get it, you are part of my generation 😉
Here is an exercise you can do in 5 minutes:
1-Make a list of things you would love to do, places to visit, things to accomplish,etc. Sort of like a dream list
2– Now for each point, write out HOW you can do this, or what steps you need to take to make it happen.
3-Make a separate list of your fears, and anything that makes you uncomfortable or holds you back.
4-For each point think about WHY you feel this? Dig deep, write it down.
5-MOST IMPORTANT: Make a third list of positive affirmations about yourself.
Bullet point statements. Place it somewhere you will see everyday, like bathroom mirror, or night table. Read it and believe it everyday.
Seriously, I was like….yeah yeah heard it all before……DO IT!
Now go and read those posters one last time, and have a great day.
Live to love and love to live